Seven Deadly Sins, South Park Style!
by OrangeHush
Summary: My personal oneshot/drabble OC fic challenge with only SEVEN themes. 'Cos I'm lazy. Peek inside for details! Submit your OC's to be tortured. Rating may change depending on future content. I'll try not to let Craig Tucker ruin everything. CH 3 ENVY UP.
1. Chapter 1

Ohai! My name is Hush, and I'm a masochist. I've eaten too much sugar this week. My life is already crammed full of responsibilities and I'm knee-deep in my first fic ever, **Lilium Inter Spinas**, but I need to write more. I've never written oneshots/drabbles before, and anyone who has read my longfic knows that I can't shut up.

I know there's this 100 theme challenge thingie catching on here, but that sounds too daunting for someone like me who tends to go on, and on, and on and take forever to get to the point. Honestly, 100 themes sound like too much of a commitment for someone like me. (GAH! Too much pressure!)

Soooo… I decided to create a personal oneshot/drabble challenge based on the Seven Deadly Sins. Seven is such a nice number. Much less intimidating than 100, especially if you have the attention span of a radish. *Hush taps her head.*

Here's how it goes: You send me your OCs and preferred pairings and I write a lil ficcy with one of the following themes.

**Lust**

**Gluttony**

**Greed**

**Sloth**

**Wrath**

**Envy**

**Pride**

The catch is that I get to pick the sin. You supply me the characters and their pairings, whether friendship/romance/enemies… whatever. Alternatively, if you think it would be really fabulous to see a Mr. Kitty & Towelie centric fic, I suppose I could do that too.

Disclaimer: Underage drinking, drug use, swearing, and possible sexual themes feature in my work. If you're just reading this challenge and have no idea who I am, check out **Lilium Inter Spinus** for a better idea of my style. I'll do my best not to defile your OC's, but if they're good girls or boys and don't drink, swear or whatever – mention that when you submit their info. Otherwise, when they cross into my fics they become part of the Hushverse. ^.^

~Hush~


	2. Wrath: Bain Cynis

**I'm writing these things in whatever order they get finished. There's no real pattern here. I'm going to do the best I can to stick to drabble/oneshot format, or even dribbles, maybe poems… anyway – I'm trying to keep it short and to the point.**

**My goal for this challenge was to teach myself how to get the most I can out of the fewest words. Given my propensity to ramble, the possibility of me succeeding is slim at best. **

**A note about the seven deadly sins: For the purposes of this exercise, I'm using a more traditional interpretation for each sin. **

**For example, the modern interpretation of pride is typically positive. Being proud of yourself and your accomplishments promotes a sense of self-worth, being proud of your heritage is seen as enriching. How can pride be a sin? Early Christian theologians specifically thought of pride as akin to vanity or an excessive love of oneself and disdain for others. Pride was closely linked with narcissism and the placement of your own value far above your peers. Pride was seen as destructive and erosive. **

"**Do you know what I am saying?" - Butters**

**Hehe, anyway… I present the first installment of the drabble/oneshot series "Seven Deadly Sins: South Park Style". Wrath.**

*

_Dies Irae_

The turbid sky cracked. Lightning stabbed the mountains. On a ridge above the quiet mountain town, four figures kept vigil. The first, both dark and fair sat astride a white Harley Davidson softtail. The second kept his eyes, one brown, one green, fixed on the town below. The wind tugged his black trenchcoat as he leaned against his scarlet Kawasaki Ninja sportbike. Corpulence personified, the third dark rider oozed over the sides of his black Harley Fat Bob, his pudgy fist rammed into a box of Cheesy Poofs. A flare of a match and the glowing tip of a cigarette illuminated the thin face of the fourth figure, a painfully thin blonde with eyes like ice. His bony fingers cupped the smoke to protect it from the wind as he reclined on his gold Ducati Monster.

The first rider dismounted and stood in front of the others.

"They thought this day would never come." He said, a core of flame blazing in his dark eyes. "But it has. The end of all things."

"Em.. Damien?" said the third with a trace of whine. "Will lunch be provided?"

"Fuck off Cartman." Said the fourth, taking a long drag of his smoke. "It's the fucking Apocalypse and you want a lunch break?"

"Shut up Kenny, you poor piece of crap!"

Damien held up his hand, silencing them instantly.

"Bain." He said simply.

Bain Cynis flicked his eyes to Damien in acknowledgement, and then turned his attention to the slumbering town once more.

"I have lulled them, beguiled them. You know what to do."

Bain nodded slowly and mounted his bike in one fluid motion, anticipation warming his cold eyes.

"War." He said.

"Dies irae." Damien said as Bain sped off down the mountain road tailed by Cartman.

"Lacrimosa dies illa." Kenny said softly before following, his orange scarf trailing behind.

And Hell followed with him.

*

**Well. It was short, anyway. ^.^ **

**Dies irae is a Latin hymn that refers to Judgement Day, and translates as "the day of wrath". Kenny's response 'lacrimosa dies illa' roughly translates as "the day of tears and mourning". I dunno why I decided to go the fantasy route here.**

**Our four horsemen were:**

**Damien: The rider on the white horse, a.k.a. Conquest/The AntiChrist.**

**Bain Cynis: OC by Anonymous Void. The rider on the red horse, a.k.a. War.**

**Eric Cartman: The rider on the black horse, a.k.a. Famine. (Cos he ate all the food? I dunno… hehe.)**

**Kenny McCormick: The rider on the pale horse, a.k.a. Death. **

**I figured that the Apocalypse would start in South Park. ^.^**


	3. Envy: Lucky Day

**South Park © T. Parker and M. Stone. **

**Lucky Day is the intellectual property of Doomed-Orange-Parka.**

**Ohai! As predicted, I'm not so quick and clever with these shorty fics. I keep typing and suddenly I have four pages. I'll get the hang of it eventually, or maybe it'll always be difficult and not something I want to revisit. **

**Enough about that. I played fast and loose with the featured sin in this ficcy. I came up with about five or six different scenarios, and this is the only one that amused me.**

**For those of you who've read Othello, seen the play or a movie - please ignore the next rambling paragraph. **

**For those of you unfamiliar with the plot of Othello, I recommend you read it someday. It's pretty wicked altogether. Otherwise: Othello is a great general, and rather than promote his wingman Iago, he chooses a less experienced soldier called Cassio. Iago is embittered by Cassio's new promotion and the favor shown him by Othello. Iago and this total idiot called Rodrigo, through various complicated plot meanderings, waste Cassio. All the while Iago has been suggesting to Othello that Desdemona, Othello's wife, has been cheating on him with Cassio. (Total lie.) In short, Othello finally flips it and smothers Desdemona who protests her innocence until the end. Iago's wife busts in and implicates her husband and, of course, Desdemona died wrongly accused. It's one of Shakespeare's biggest 'oh shit' moments. Good times. **

**And now: **

**The second installment of "Seven Deadly Sins: South Park Style!" – Envy**

*

_Othello_

_Dramatis Personae_

_Clyde Donovan….Othello the Moor_

_Lucky Day….Desdemona, wife to Othello_

_Kenny McCormick.…Iago, a villain and third in command to Othello_

_Kyle Broflovski….Cassio, Othello's lieutenant_

_Eric Cartman….Rodrigo, former suitor to Desdemona_

_Bebe Stevens….Emilia, Iago's suspicious wife_

_Wendy Testaburger….Bianca, a prostitute patronized by Cassio_

Clyde Donovan waited in the dark. He could hear her breathing beside him. They both watched the action on stage. Watched Iago and Rodrigo plot their destruction. From somewhere behind him, Wendy Testaburger huffed impatiently, anxious for her small role to begin. Kyle Broflovski kept repeating "_letting go safely by the divine Desdemona…"_ under his breath, an ode to stage fright.

*

Iago's eyes were twin cores of ice, but his silver tongue warmed to his subject - the faithless Desdemona. Othello despised him. He channeled that deep loathing as he stared forward, eyes skidding over the hushed audience of parents, teachers and classmates.

He watched players come and go, Cassio, Emilia, Bianca - but whenever she was there, his wife, he saw only her. Her green eyes sparked beneath the feathers of her lashes. The divine Desdemona.

His guts churned as he stood over the bed. She protested. He persisted. He could feel her breath warm on his hand and the thrill of her heart even as she died.

*

A bubbling of applause became a storm as they bowed. Lucky's hand rested lightly in his. When Kenny came downstage, the storm became a roar. Clyde was deaf to it. All he heard was Wendy's voice.

"Didn't you know Clyde?" he heard her whisper in his brain. "Lucky is totally into Kenny McCormick." Wendy had given him a look of such pity that Clyde had instantly seen himself the way that she did, the way Lucky must. _Pathetic._

The shushing of the curtain shielded them from the audience and they all spilled into each other, embracing. Clyde dropped Lucky's hand and sought his rival.

Kenny McCormick never saw the punch coming.

*

**Bad Wendy! ** **I reckon she was a bit upset about getting passed over for the role of Desdemona, and decided to go rogue – Iago style. I'm sure Lucky is very fond of Clyde indeed. Envy is very dangerous stuff.**

**I couldn't freaking resist casting Wendy as a prostitute. Just cos!**


End file.
